Is there any friction?
Good!
Does it chafe a little?
Then it’s not yet uncomfortable enough.
Does it chafe to the point where it’s actually bothering you?
Then it’s time for a change.
Do you get shut down, telling yourself “it can’t be done” or “I’m not allowed”?
Then you’re letting the friction go too far. Time for action.
Who or what is causing this friction?
Is it you, or are you letting yourself be influenced by others or by circumstances?
Who or what says you have to?
Who needs to give you the space to do what you want to do?
You have to…, you have to…, you have to…
Let me set you straight on that: you don’t have to.
Or
Does it have to be measurable?
Does it have to be complicated to be real?
I see us getting stuck in patterns, of thought and behavior—and getting bogged down in issues like workload, “I’m not allowed to develop,” “I’m not given any space,” “I want to but I can’t,”
“easy for you to say,” “you don’t know what it’s like,” “if only you knew how things work around here,” and so on.
That’s when the “Yes, but…” creeps in. Yes, but… & yes, but… & yes, but…
With “yes, but,” you undermine everything that was said before.
So, what then?
The paradox is that if you want change, there will always be friction.
Always? That’s a lot. Yes, always.
Why is that?
It’s simple to explain: you are pushing boundaries and, in a sense, coloring outside the lines of what you’re used to doing. That creates a clash and generates tension. The trick is to find the balance between showing some guts and guarding your own boundaries.
Change is about musing, playing, learning, and doing.
Musing.
Here, anything goes. Sit in that lovely spot, go for a walk or a bike ride, whatever you like.
Pick the beautiful spot that feels best to you. Let your thoughts come and go.
Everything is okay. Draw, paint, write, dance, rap, make music, or simply sit and surrender to whatever comes to mind. If you make musing a regular habit, you will be amazed by what surfaces and by just how creative you actually are. As reflecting becomes easier, you’ll discover what else it can do for you.
Playing.
I believe the value of play is underestimated. From a young age, we are expected to do so much. How playful are your thoughts and behavior? Do you dare to break the rules? Did you know that an inquisitive, playful attitude means you are constantly learning?
Learning about who you are and the world around you. You begin to see opportunities to take initiative and, above all, to find joy in the things you do.
How cool is that! I call this creating “play space.”
I notice that as we get older, we become less willing to play. Is it allowed? Do we have the space for it?
I see us getting “swallowed up” by work, caring for others, health issues, and/or social obligations—doing things simply because we have to, or because it’s expected of us.
We end up weighed down by these responsibilities, whether self-imposed or not, because, after all, life is a serious business.
Try asking yourself the following questions and answer them as honestly as possible.
If we aren’t allowed to play, are we happy?
What truly makes you happy?
What brings you joy? What gives you energy?
How can you play more?
Because when you can play, you derive much more enjoyment from what you do; you gain a grip on your own life and remain flexible, even in an environment that is no longer straightforward.
Having ‘play space’ means being able to change your views and rules.
It will enrich you, and it can also bring about profound changes.
How do you go about playing again to make room for fun, creativity, discovery, and change?
In five simple steps.
Step 1. Go on the swings! Play the games you used to play when you were young.
Step 2. Humor! Have fun with the things you do. It doesn’t all have to be so serious.
Step 3. Laugh a lot! Laughter is the music of the soul. When—and how often—do you truly laugh?
Step 4. Improvise! Do you allow yourself the space to be playful? Or do you feel immature or irresponsible when you do? Go ahead and dare to move past that fear.
Step 5. Push your boundaries! Discover and do new things. Step out of your comfort zone.
That is how you learn. Things not going quite as expected? No worries—just try a different approach. If you start playing and loosen up, I can assure you that you will find joy in the things that matter most to you. Keep playing! Question the rules. Ask “why.” That is how you create the freedom to experiment.
Does it feel a bit uncomfortable? Good!
Do you dare to cross thresholds and take on new challenges?
Do you want limitless growth?
You are welcome at Zielewind.
You will love this because it will change you.
Are you ready to take on the challenge?