The beginning of book FUTURE ME
People always ask where a story begins.
I never quite know how to answer that, because the truth is, a story rarely begins where we think it does. We like things neat, don’t we?
A date. A place. A scene we can point to and say, There. That’s where it all changed.
But life is hardly ever that tidy.
Life leaves breadcrumbs. Little clues. Fragments.
A smell. A sentence. A look on someone’s face.
Moments that seem ordinary at the time and only reveal their weight years later, when you finally understand what they were carrying.
Everything starts with a spark. A feeling. A question. An idea.
Something catches inside you before you have the words for it.
THAT inner fire.
If you nurture it, if you dare to stay with it instead of brushing it aside, it grows.
It becomes momentum. It becomes force. It becomes the kind of power that can change not only the shape of your life, but the way you understand your life.
This story began on one autumn day 2021.
It’s a peaceful autumn day I’m at my home in the Netherlands. Sitting in front of a vase of white roses from the garden that I’ve put on the dining room table, they smell lovely, and I’m taking a moment to enjoy them.
‘BAM!’ The slamming door shakes the whole house.
Before I can ask myself who on Earth that could be, I hear a voice yell, “Daaaaa Queen is in da HOOOUSE!”
My daughter leaps into the chair opposite me, and ‘THWACK!’, smacks her palms flat on the table. She fixes her fierce green eyes on mine. She’s smiling, but full of tension.
But instead of delivering her speech, she cracks – all the fight drains out of her. She slumps into her chair and roars at the ceiling.
“I need a glow-up and I don’t even know where to start!”
“What’s a glow-up?”, I ask.
She groans.
“You know, you feel depressed, you’re broke, you can’t make any decisions. You’ve got no goals, you party too much, drink too much, and you’re just alone. It’s just rubbish, so you need a glow-up.”
Her whole energy changes again. She jumps up out of her chair and meets my eyes over the table.
“I give everything, I’m available 24/7 for everyone and no one even notices – they just expect it. I work 70 hrs a week, and now they want me to do more! I asked them for more money, and they said they’d give me LESS, AND an extra store to manage!? Who they think they ARE! What if I quit? I CAN’T quit! Oh, Mum, what can I do? My life is a mess, a total mess.”
Her eyes are open so wide they’re practically bulging out her head.
“And what about my DREAMS? What the hell happened to all that? I want to run away from everything and everyone, I’m so sick of it all. I can’t sleep, I don’t eat well, I don’t laugh, I just cry. I’m so angry, and, and, TIRED! Oh my GOD I’m so tired. I quit my studies for this company – I hate myself for letting this happen. I hate myself, my life, this country, everything. It’s ENOUGH! I want to feel strong about myself, know what I want, know what to do, be ME! Be MORE than me!
Ah. A glow-up. Now I understand. She exhales, and it’s over.
“My brain is dry. Can I have some water?”, she asks, and slumps back into the chair.
“What would you do, Mum?”
“Well, there’s a lesson in there for you inside all that mess”, I say.
“Let’s go for a walk.”
She tells me about her dreams, her problems, and that feeling of being stuck. We worked backwards from her dream and decided on what she needed to do to accomplish it. We looked at her values, habits, patterns, and skills: the ones she had and the ones she needed.
And was she ready to follow through with this? Was she fully prepared to make the change she wants, break up the old system and build a new life?
NO!
But she was ready enough, had the confidence and courage to make a start.
By the end of that walk, we had also made a deal. Together, we were going to help her friends who have the same problem.
We wanted to help other young adults 18+ who felt exactly like that – lost, overloaded, disconnected, full of noise but cut off from themselves.
That became Project Glow-Up. Started with a small group of international young adults and it spread over the globe.
Where they ready for change? No, they were ready to tell their honest stories, sharing their live questions, doubts, success, solutions. And sometimes that is all that is needed. Not certainty. But willingness.
I started to listen, truly listening to their stories, without reaction to young adults from all over the world. I listened, start writing and to look honestly at the problems they were facing.
I did not preach. I did not parent. I saw a lot of wisdom, courage, joy. I stayed close to their perspective and helped them test their own solutions.
We kept what works. Throw out what does not. Ask better questions. Find truer answers.
From that work grew book FUTURE ME, The courage to follow your own path.
This book. It’s more a guide we made together, every participant age 18-30 years. 2 students groups from the International Business school Hanze Hogeschool Groningen did research, about avatars, counties, sales area, publishers.
From young adults for young adults.
Why? Because their stories are worth hearing. Stories anchor yourself to reality.
In this book FUTURE ME The courage to follow your own path, you’re going the same journey as the young adults. You get the change truly listening to them and when shared something magical happens. By sharing their stories they bride the gap between generations.
Their mission is started and simple: to open up honest conversations about physical and mental health from the perspectives of young adults around the world. Fostering real connections and shared understanding.
Also for parents, teachers, grandparents, everyone who knows a young adult and want to listen too hem and having honest conversations.
It’s a guide to decoding hidden patterns, building healthier habits, navigating both challenge and success, and stepping into life with more courage, truth and self-respect.
It opens honest conversations about physical and mental health through the lived experience of young adults around the globe.
Making room for future-voices in a world already bursting with noise.
The mission is started.